So I guess I start here.

It's late on a Sunday night. The snow is falling outside, and I really should be in bed, not watching late night television, and working on this blog. Mind you it's about time that I wrote something for this. I mean I have had a blank page for long enough.

Sometime I feel that that is exactly what my life has been like. One big blank page that shows nothing, and has nothing worth remembering. Well at least that is how I used to feel. I have drifted through life aimlessly for so many years. Too many years, and now I would be lying if I didn't say that I had a sense of direction, of at the very least, where I want to be.

But I am getting ahead of myself, and not for the first time. Patience has never been a great virtue of mine. Sure I have bitten my tongue and stayed quiet, but inside I have been burning up. So if anyone is reading this you can probably guess that I am transgendered. The title kind of gives it away really doesn't it? To put it more precisely I am a transsexual. A male to female pre-op transsexual.

I live in London, Britain's capital city, and work here too. It's a great city in many ways. In terms of things to do and see it offers so much, and for those of us that are transgendered alot of good contacts. But a big city has its' own set of problems too. It can be, no it is, expensive, and can be impersonal at times. People are always in a rush, and will physically push into you. Maybe it's modern life, maybe because alot of the people in the city don't actually live there. I'm not sure, and I guess that in the end it doesn't really matter. We just have to get on with it don't we?

I came here about 5 years ago, and it was then that things really began to move forward for me towards wherever my journey takes me to. I only recently realised how isolated I was in my previous city. I have stayed in regular contact with just one friend from there. A guy who does not know of my t status, but we were/are good friends, so who knows how he would react if he found out, and I find that a bit shocking.

Don't get me wrong I got on fine with the people I worked with. More than fine with quite a few of them, and yet now that we no longer work together that relationship, has for all intent and purpose has broken down. I can live with that, and yet it does strike me as rather sad. That I can spend so much time with people, and yet the relationship isn't as strong, or as deep, as I thought it was.

But again I am getting ahead of myself here. It's late and I really should be getting some sleep, but I'll explain a bit more in my next entry, which I am sure you will all be waiting with baited breath for! Until then Ciao!